Well, that went well, so here we go again, this time for a seasonal round up of what comic creators like to bake and cook at this time of year.  Initially, I thought this wasn’t going to be too well, because...

 

‘Frazer's Xmas recipe:

 

One carton of orange juice.
One turkey dinner from the microwave.
A room.

Put all ingredients together and consume slowly whilst drawing on the only day of the year when no one bothers me. Afterwards allow to settle on sofa whilst watching illegally downloaded movies,’ – Frazer Irving (artist, Judge Death, Inhumans: Silent War).

 

And...

 

‘Here's an old family favourite:

1) Take a large glass tumbler;
2) Half fill with a fine single malt;
3) Drink;
4) Repeat until dead. 

Enjoy!’ – Andy Diggle (writer, Hellblazer, The Losers).

 

Oh come on, guys?  Guys?!

 

‘Sorry, Paul. Most of my Christmas cooking revolves around curries. Not very seasonal...’ – Mike Carey (writer, Lucifer, X-Men: Legacy).

 

‘I don't know how to make anything more complicated than a sandwich. We always go to my wife's parent's house so I eat whatever is in front of me,’ – Adi Granov (artist, Iron Man: Extremis, Iron Man: Viva Las Vegas).

 

‘Sadly my cooking is entirely non-seasonal. I can cook about ten dishes and have them all year round.  Tom's wife's mix does sound pretty great though,’ – Jamie McKelvie (artist/writer, Phonogram, Suburban Glamour).

 

Tom’s wife’s mix?  Ah, now we’re talking...

 

‘Every year at this time of year, my wife Jes mixes up prodigious quantities of her own special party mix. It is truly the greatest substance known to man, and if she had turned out to have been a serial killer, she still would have been worth keeping around solely to provide this mix every year. So here is the recipe:

Chex Mix

Mix in a very large bowl:
2 Cups Corn Chex Cereal
2 Cups Rice Chex Cereal
1 Cup Wheat Chex Cereal
1 Cup Cheerios
2 Cups Pretzel Sticks
1 Cup Nuts (Optional)

Melt in small sauce pan:
1 Stick of Butter

Add to melted butter and stir until even:
3 Tbsp Worcestershire Sauce
1 tsp garlic salt

Pour immediately over cereal mixture as evenly as possible and stir until all pieces are evenly coated.

Pour into 13 x 9 baking pan and cook in 250 Degree oven until dry stirring mix every 20 minutes or so. Approximately 1 to 2 hours total baking time.

One caveat: while she insists that this isn't the case, from my experience, even with this recipe nobody else can create this stuff quite as well as she can. So let the would-be chef beware...’ – Tom Brevoort (Executive Editor, Marvel Comics).

 

Any recipe that calls for an entire stick of butter is cool in my book.  And here’s something else that also sounds tasty, but has a claim to wholesomeness that the frankly pornographic foodstuff above perhaps does not aspire to...

‘My Mother has been making shrimp and rice casserole for my brother and I every Christmas ever since I was a kid so I look forward to it every year. Simple and very non-holiday sounding but really good comfort food non-the-less. Though I have to say I like Andy Diggle's recipe the best...’

 

Yeah, but you didn’t get four like that at the start of this quest and nearly abandon the blog topic as a result...

 

‘Shrimp and Rice Casserole

 

6 ounce box of long grain wild rice
2 tblspn of butter or oil
1 cup diced green bell pepper
1 cup diced onion
1 cup sliced celery
1.5 lbs of boiled peeled shrimp (any size)
1 teaspoon curry powder
1 teaspoon worcestershire sauce
3/4 cup of mayonnaise
1/2 cup white wine
minced parsley
salt and pepper to taste

Cook rice accordingly and set aside.
Saute green pepper, onion, and celery in butter or oil until tender.
combine with rice and all other ingredients except parsley.
pour into greased 9X13" or round 2 quart casserole.
Cover and bake in preheated 350 degree F oven for 45 min.
sprinkle with minced parsley and serve. Serves 8-10,’ – Mark Brooks (artist, New X-Men, Young Avengers Presents).

 

Mmm, that sounds terrific.  I might well give both the above a go.  But what we all like at Christmas is something sweet, something to treat ourselves with...

 

‘My mom used to make these Russian tea cakes for Christmas. This is why I had to clothes-shop in the "husky" section as a boy:

 

Russian Tea Cakes

1 1/2 cups butter
3/4 cup confectioners' sugar
3/4 teaspoon salt (Mom LOVED salt)
1 1/2 cups finely ground almonds or pecans
4 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract
3 cups flour
1/3 cup confectioners' sugar for glazing

1. Preheat oven to 325 F.
2. Cream butter or margarine in a bowl, gradually add confectioners' sugar and salt. Beat until light and fluffy. Add nuts and vanilla. Blend in flour gradually and mix well.
3. Shape into balls a little smaller than golf balls. Place on ungreased cookie sheets, bake for 15-20 min. Do not brown. Cool slightly, then roll in the extra confectioners' sugar while still warm.

Happy holidays!’ –Mark Waid (writer, Kingdom Come, 52, Editor-in-Chief, Boom Studios).

 

Mark’s currently posting good stuff about the craft of writing comics every Wednesday as part of the group blog here:

 

http://kfmonkey.blogspot.com/

 

The advice about how nobody blinks in comics is particularly spot on.

 

‘Mark - from one childhood husky shopper to another - may God bless you for posting that recipe: those are my second favorite cookies in the world!’

 

Bringing comics professionals together over cookies, at Christmas.  We could probably get a Muppet special out of this. 

 

‘The first is a similar Puerto Rican Christmas cookie made with shortening, by the way - I found the recipe on the web...

Mantecaditos

2 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
1/4 teaspoon McCormick® Ground Nutmeg
3/4 cup butter
1/4 cup vegetable shortening
1 1/2 teaspoons Almond Extract
1/2 teaspoon Vanilla Extract
1/2 cup sugar
5 maraschino cherries

Place oven rack in middle position of the oven. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.

In a medium bowl, combine flour and nutmeg; set aside. In a large bowl, beat butter, shortening and extracts with an electric mixer until smooth. Gradually add sugar to butter mixture and cream until mixture is light. Blend in flour mixture. Dough should be slightly moist. If dough looks dry, sprinkle with water and work into dough. If dough is sticky, sprinkle with additional flour.

Spoon dough by teaspoons and form into balls. Place on an ungreased baking sheet. Gently press each ball with palm of hand to form cookie.

Cut each cherry into 8 pieces. Garnish with a cherry piece placed in the centre of each cookie.

Bake 20 minutes or until golden. Cool cookies on a wire rack,’ – Javier Grillo–Marxuach (writer, The Middleman, Annihilation: Super Skrull.)

 

I was especially pleased that my old mate Javier sent me something, because being able to say ‘The Middleman’ on a blog ups the hit rate as much as my old favourite Rude Lesbian Nurses.  Oops, I said it again.  But what really blew me away about this blog was getting a recipe from, well, my ultimate boss in comics.  He’s a nice guy, is Joe.  It strikes me he takes pains to do this sort of thing all the time.  And I love the Marvel tone of the following...

 

‘One of my favourites around holiday time!

 

Beef Tenderloin and Caramelized Onion Sandwiches

 

TENDERLOIN

1/2 teaspoon salt.

1/4 teaspoon garlic powder.

1/4 teaspoon paprika.

1/4 teaspoon coarse ground black pepper.

1 lb. beef tenderloin, trimmed.

 

CARAMELIZED ONIONS

3 tablespoons butter.

1 tablespoon oil.

2 tablespoons brown sugar.

3 medium onions, cut into 1/4 inch thick slices.

2 tablespoons red wine or butter.

 

SAUCE

1/2 cup sour cream.

1 tablespoon purchased horseradish sauce.

1/2 teaspoon salt.

 

SANDWICH

1(10 inch) round loaf focaccia bread.

1 1/2 cups firmly packed baby spinach leaves.

Cocktail toothpicks.

 

Heat oven or mutant firestarter to 450 F.  In a small bowl, combine 1/2 teaspoon of salt, garlic powder, paprika and pepper and mix well. Rub the mixture on all surfaces of the tenderloin.  Lick fingers, yes it's tasty!  Place beef (after washing fingers) in a small shallow roasting pan and tuck the end under.

 

Bake at 450 F for 20 to 25 minutes or until the meat thermometer inserted in centre registers 140 F for rare.  If in doubt consult your nearest empath.  Remove from oven and let cool for 30 minutes or until completely cooled, preferably in a Negative Zone portal. 

 

Meanwhile in a large skillet, heat your butter and oil over medium heat until the butter melts.  Add brown sugar and onions and stir to coat.  Cook over medium heat for 10 minutes or until onions begin to soften, stirring occasionally. Add wine or Asgardian mead.  Reduce heat to medium-low and cover and cook 10 to 15 minutes or until the onions are very tender.  Cover and refrigerate until serving time in adamantium lined fridge.

 

When ready to serve, combine all sauce ingredients in a small bowl and mix well.  Lick fingers as necessary.  Heat or gamma irradiate your focaccia bread and cut into horizontal halves.  Spread both cut sides with sauce.  Arrange spinach leaves over sauce on the bottom half of the focaccia.

 

Slice beef thinly and layer over Spinach. Top with onions, unstable molecules on the top half of the focaccia and press down.  Insert cocktail toothpicks through all layers at 1 1/4 to 1 1/2 inch intervals.  Cut between toothpicks to form tiny sandwich squares.

 

‘Nuff said,’ – Joe Quesada (Editor-in-Chief, Marvel Comics). 

 

How did he lose all that weight? 

 

The Adventures of the Amazing Scale Guy... Day Two.

 

‘Scale Guy, Scale Guy, does whatever a Scale Guy does.  But he’s the best at what he does.  And what he does is demonstrate relative size.  Da de dah de dah...’

 

DOCTOR:                  ‘Quick, Scale Guy, into the TARDIS!  Takes a bit of getting used to, as you can see, bigger on the inside than the outside –‘

 

SCALE GUY:             ‘AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!’

 

See you tomorrow!  Ho ho ho!  Cheerio!