From Dublin to Belarus
I’ve just accepted an invitation to guest at Phoenixcon in Dublin in March, 2007. Yes, 2007, so that’s lots of time to get some sort of 2p a flight deal from a terrifying budget airline. It’s a great pleasure for me to have that set in the future, because, as with a lot of conventions I go to, Phoenixcon is like the school reunion for the school I’d have preferred to actually go to. The same people pop up every time, and they’re wonderful. Which is just as well, because a convention in Dublin during Lent (thus no alcohol for me, weight falling off me, thank you) could be a special circle of Hell.
Our host, Pádraig, is really far too cool to be running a New Age Bookshop. I always mean to go and see it, because it strikes me there’s a Black Books style sitcom there for the nabbing. He’s laid back like something out of The Invisibles, his wife Deidre bounces like a sock puppet version of a cheerfully homicidal pixie. (No, these are flattering descriptions: look into my eyes.) Pád thinks I’m ‘cheerful’. Which is weird, considering the circumstances in which we meet. Something terrible, work-wise, always tends to happen to me while I’m on holiday in Dublin. This is often because, well, I’m on holiday in Dublin, when I should be at my desk. This time round, struck by a sudden quaking in my bowels, I asked my wife why I was feeling awe and fear while browsing the National Museum. Why had we been to the lower floors, while never venturing… upstairs to… Egyptology?
‘Well’, she said, carefully, ‘we always get those phone calls when you’re here. The ones that say you’ve been sacked from something. Like last year it was that BBC detective series…’
She caught up with me in a bar where I was throwing back a Slimline Tonic, my hands shaking, staring hard at a pint of Guinness.
It’s no wonder I’ve won Phoenixcon’s Just a Minute quiz twice in a row, it’s sheer nervous tension. This year I shared the title with Charlie Stross, who I also awkwardly shared a panel with on new developments in FTL drives and the future of Mars. I say awkwardly because I’m the softest of Hard SF writers, and Charlie, as he explained, was the wrong sort of Hard SF writer. Also competing there were the magnificent Dave Lally, who is the kindest, most gentle man, but, well… he wanders. The mere concept of ‘deviation’ is something he could tell you a lot about… eventually. And there was Nicholas Whyte, a man of tremendous learning and a great European (a trait that’s wonderfully common in the Republic) who, having been practicing in front of a mirror for a year, gave us a good run for our money. Nicholas works for an organization which I’m very glad to share the world with, the International Crisis Group (www.crisisgroup.org) They’re an independent body, and their remit is ‘to prevent and resolve deadly conflict’. They’re who you ask if you want to know just how dangerous the situation in a country is, what’s going to happen next, and what steps can be taken to calm everyone down. In a century where fixing the world has become ridiculously unfashionable, they offer governments the tools to do just that. So it came as no surprise that, while hosting a panel about Doctor Who, Nicholas started to field calls from the BBC about the death of Slobodan Milosevic. I’ve never previously been involved in a discussion concerning favourite old monsters the chairmanship of which varied according to the situation in the Balkans.
There was also a comics panel, featuring a gaggle of the glorious Millarworld lads, who popped in to collide my various different worlds (Phoenixcon is one of the few places where I get to be a TV writer, a Doctor Who writer, an SF novelist and a Comics writer at once).
My old friend Juliet McKenna was also in attendance, having turned me on to this convention a couple of years back. She’s always a source of good chat, her head so thoroughly screwed on about the business side of writing books that you’d need to put her under warm water and use a towel to get the cap off. (Hmm. Metaphors I Just Got Away With. I think.) She interviewed this year’s Guest of Honour, someone I’d never met before, but who turned out to be absolutely delightful: Susanna Clarke, the current Hugo holder for Best Novel in the form of Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell (http://www.jonathanstrange.com/), who was attending with her multi-award-winning husband, author of the Plenty books, Colin Greenland. Plonking all those awards next to their names here feels a bit weird, frankly, because better company across a dinner table you couldn’t hope to meet, and I cannot think of a better author to conquer the world, as she’s currently doing. Caroline was surprised to be hauled out of the audience by Susanna to join in on an admiring C.S. Lewis panel, in which I sat at the back sighing through all the interesting contributions because, frankly, as the odd sort of Christian I am (is there any other sort?) I can’t stand Lewis.
Also good fun, and part of our rather too guest-heavy pub quiz team on the Saturday night (Colin won it for us), were Leah Moore and John Reppion, authors of Albion, the modern comic book recreation of all those ancient British comic characters like Captain Hurricane and Robot Archie (http://www.moorereppion.com/). Once more, the best company, all of us sharing a memorable dinner with the hosts.
So it’s lovely to think that next year I’ll be returning to see how everything’s changed amongst my time-lapse convention friends. Only next year I’ll make sure I don’t have any TV work in progress at the time.
Belarus played Faringdon last night, which was not some sort of Inter-Toto-We’re-Not-In-Kansas-Anymore football match between a troubled state that Nick would know all about and the democratic navel of the world, but the homecoming (or rather homegoing, because they’re off on a national tour now) gig of this area’s biggest export to the music world thus far.
Hmm. Let’s pause to take a look at that sentence. It’s tottering, isn’t it? Standing in the wind like a house of cards. I’m just going to leave it, okay?
Belarus are a rock band from Faringdon, and they’re going to be world famous. Their single, ‘Standing in the Right Place’, is out now and available for download on ITunes. They probably wouldn’t like me making such comparisons, but if you like Coldplay, with a bit of the guitar jangle and anthemic, melodic, swagger of U2, then you’re going to love them. Standing in a packed out Junior School hall (Lee Alder, the lead singer, recalled that last time he’d played there it had been in a puppet show of The Wind in the Willows: he played Ratty), I realised that I felt I should be standing in a stadium, as these guys, with major support behind them now, soon will be. It’s not the first time a Faringdonian has got in the charts in the last couple of years (Riot Act, that is, my mate Tim, with ‘California Soul’), and the town now has a flourishing local music scene, with bands including Bobby Moore’s Shorts being well up to the task of support last night, and the Fifteen Minute Club at the Corn Exchange on the first Sunday of every month packed with exciting new acts. But Belarus are something special.
I didn’t let Gawain on the door rip my ticket. One day it’s going to be very valuable.
Our host, Pádraig, is really far too cool to be running a New Age Bookshop. I always mean to go and see it, because it strikes me there’s a Black Books style sitcom there for the nabbing. He’s laid back like something out of The Invisibles, his wife Deidre bounces like a sock puppet version of a cheerfully homicidal pixie. (No, these are flattering descriptions: look into my eyes.) Pád thinks I’m ‘cheerful’. Which is weird, considering the circumstances in which we meet. Something terrible, work-wise, always tends to happen to me while I’m on holiday in Dublin. This is often because, well, I’m on holiday in Dublin, when I should be at my desk. This time round, struck by a sudden quaking in my bowels, I asked my wife why I was feeling awe and fear while browsing the National Museum. Why had we been to the lower floors, while never venturing… upstairs to… Egyptology?
‘Well’, she said, carefully, ‘we always get those phone calls when you’re here. The ones that say you’ve been sacked from something. Like last year it was that BBC detective series…’
She caught up with me in a bar where I was throwing back a Slimline Tonic, my hands shaking, staring hard at a pint of Guinness.
It’s no wonder I’ve won Phoenixcon’s Just a Minute quiz twice in a row, it’s sheer nervous tension. This year I shared the title with Charlie Stross, who I also awkwardly shared a panel with on new developments in FTL drives and the future of Mars. I say awkwardly because I’m the softest of Hard SF writers, and Charlie, as he explained, was the wrong sort of Hard SF writer. Also competing there were the magnificent Dave Lally, who is the kindest, most gentle man, but, well… he wanders. The mere concept of ‘deviation’ is something he could tell you a lot about… eventually. And there was Nicholas Whyte, a man of tremendous learning and a great European (a trait that’s wonderfully common in the Republic) who, having been practicing in front of a mirror for a year, gave us a good run for our money. Nicholas works for an organization which I’m very glad to share the world with, the International Crisis Group (www.crisisgroup.org) They’re an independent body, and their remit is ‘to prevent and resolve deadly conflict’. They’re who you ask if you want to know just how dangerous the situation in a country is, what’s going to happen next, and what steps can be taken to calm everyone down. In a century where fixing the world has become ridiculously unfashionable, they offer governments the tools to do just that. So it came as no surprise that, while hosting a panel about Doctor Who, Nicholas started to field calls from the BBC about the death of Slobodan Milosevic. I’ve never previously been involved in a discussion concerning favourite old monsters the chairmanship of which varied according to the situation in the Balkans.
There was also a comics panel, featuring a gaggle of the glorious Millarworld lads, who popped in to collide my various different worlds (Phoenixcon is one of the few places where I get to be a TV writer, a Doctor Who writer, an SF novelist and a Comics writer at once).
My old friend Juliet McKenna was also in attendance, having turned me on to this convention a couple of years back. She’s always a source of good chat, her head so thoroughly screwed on about the business side of writing books that you’d need to put her under warm water and use a towel to get the cap off. (Hmm. Metaphors I Just Got Away With. I think.) She interviewed this year’s Guest of Honour, someone I’d never met before, but who turned out to be absolutely delightful: Susanna Clarke, the current Hugo holder for Best Novel in the form of Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell (http://www.jonathanstrange.com/), who was attending with her multi-award-winning husband, author of the Plenty books, Colin Greenland. Plonking all those awards next to their names here feels a bit weird, frankly, because better company across a dinner table you couldn’t hope to meet, and I cannot think of a better author to conquer the world, as she’s currently doing. Caroline was surprised to be hauled out of the audience by Susanna to join in on an admiring C.S. Lewis panel, in which I sat at the back sighing through all the interesting contributions because, frankly, as the odd sort of Christian I am (is there any other sort?) I can’t stand Lewis.
Also good fun, and part of our rather too guest-heavy pub quiz team on the Saturday night (Colin won it for us), were Leah Moore and John Reppion, authors of Albion, the modern comic book recreation of all those ancient British comic characters like Captain Hurricane and Robot Archie (http://www.moorereppion.com/). Once more, the best company, all of us sharing a memorable dinner with the hosts.
So it’s lovely to think that next year I’ll be returning to see how everything’s changed amongst my time-lapse convention friends. Only next year I’ll make sure I don’t have any TV work in progress at the time.
Belarus played Faringdon last night, which was not some sort of Inter-Toto-We’re-Not-In-Kansas-Anymore football match between a troubled state that Nick would know all about and the democratic navel of the world, but the homecoming (or rather homegoing, because they’re off on a national tour now) gig of this area’s biggest export to the music world thus far.
Hmm. Let’s pause to take a look at that sentence. It’s tottering, isn’t it? Standing in the wind like a house of cards. I’m just going to leave it, okay?
Belarus are a rock band from Faringdon, and they’re going to be world famous. Their single, ‘Standing in the Right Place’, is out now and available for download on ITunes. They probably wouldn’t like me making such comparisons, but if you like Coldplay, with a bit of the guitar jangle and anthemic, melodic, swagger of U2, then you’re going to love them. Standing in a packed out Junior School hall (Lee Alder, the lead singer, recalled that last time he’d played there it had been in a puppet show of The Wind in the Willows: he played Ratty), I realised that I felt I should be standing in a stadium, as these guys, with major support behind them now, soon will be. It’s not the first time a Faringdonian has got in the charts in the last couple of years (Riot Act, that is, my mate Tim, with ‘California Soul’), and the town now has a flourishing local music scene, with bands including Bobby Moore’s Shorts being well up to the task of support last night, and the Fifteen Minute Club at the Corn Exchange on the first Sunday of every month packed with exciting new acts. But Belarus are something special.
I didn’t let Gawain on the door rip my ticket. One day it’s going to be very valuable.

